


Sins of The Father

by Forlorn_Melody



Series: Fallen From Space [2]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Daddy Issues, Dissociation, F/M, PTSD, Post-Mass Effect 2: Arrival, Ruthless (Mass Effect), Spacer (Mass Effect)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29278599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forlorn_Melody/pseuds/Forlorn_Melody
Summary: Cass Shepard isn't sure what hurts worse--knowing she's now a war criminal, or that the man who made her the scapegoat.
Relationships: Jeff "Joker" Moreau/Female Shepard
Series: Fallen From Space [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150178
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Sins of The Father

**Author's Note:**

> This is the same Shepard who appears in Movie Night, and is mentioned in Masha, though you don't need to read those fics to understand what's happening in this one. You should DEFINITELY play the Arrival DLC though, cause major spoilers.

Dr. Chawkwas has long gone to sleep when Cassandra Shepard collapses in her chair. She presses her forehead against the cold steel of her desk, waiting. Waiting to feel something, _anything_ about what she has done. Maybe Cerberus made a mistake bringing her back. Or maybe Cerberus _didn’t_ bring Cass Shepard back from the dead. Maybe they brought back a _monster._

 _Three Hundred Thousand._ Gone. Cass remembers her first kill. A Batarian, then too. She doesn't know much about alien physiology, but there was something about the way that soldier looked at her, wide-eyed and shaken, told her that he was younger than her, still a kid, at least emotionally. And she shot him between all four eyes. 

The door whisks open, but Cass doesn't move. “Sorry, Doctor. I’ll just be a min--”

“Commander.” That voice jerks her awake. Hackett’s sudden _arrival_ almost jerks her out of her chair and into attention. But then Cassandra Maria Shepard remembers what she found in the Shadow Broker’s files. 

“Admiral,” she drawls. “Or should I say, _Dad?_ ”

Whatever Hackett had planned to say died right there on his lips. “Excuse me?”

“When exactly were you planning on telling me?” Cass _really_ should lower her voice, salute-- _something_ , but she figures in light of her recent sins, insubordination will be low on the list. “Before or _after_ they line me up for the firing squad?”

Steven Hackett does something Cass long judged physically impossible--he removes his hat. His officer persona--his poker face comes off with it. For once, her father looks _tired,_ exhausted even. “They’re not going to execute you, Cassandra.”

“Then why the fuck are you _here_? This is a shitty time for a family reunion.”

Hackett grimaces, and he flops into Dr. Chawkwa’s chair like it’s a recliner. It’s then Cass realizes she’s never seen him sitting down. “Hannah and I agreed it was best not to tell you.”

“Best for who?” The crew out in the mess turn their heads. Cass has never really bothered to check how soundproof the SR2 is. Right now, she doesn’t care who hears. “Cause it fucking _sucked_ growing up without a dad.” Cass paces like a wild animal caught in a cage. “Fuck, I hardly had a _mom_ either. Raised by my _tías_ planetside whenever she was deployed.”

Exhausted as he is, there’s still a bit of the admiral in his steel eyes. “The Alliance needed us. A scandal only would have--”

Cass snorts. “Of course. Sacrifice my childhood, who cares? The motherfucking Milky Way is at stake. Gotta raise me for my life as a sacrificial lamb, right, Dad?”

Hackett rubs his face, sighing. “Cassandra. I’m doing what I can for you. _Please_ just cooperate with the authorities and we’ll sort this out.”

“Did you know about the relay?”

“Goodbye, Cassandra.” Hackett pauses by the door, his arms hanging loosely at his sides. One foot points at her and the other towards the exit. Almost as if he’s considering offering a hug. 

Cassandra doesn’t even turn to look--just watching him through her peripheral. The door hisses shut behind him. It’s only when the tears drop on her hands that Cass realizes she’s crying. 

* * *

“Commander?” Joker’s voice sounds like it’s coming through water. “Shepard?” Cass looks at the display case without seeing it. Without seeing anything, really. “ _Cass?_ Shit. I’m coming up. EDI, take the helm.” 

The com screeches off and Cass jumps a little in her seat. How long had she been sitting there? How did she even _get_ up here? Last thing she remembers, Cass was sitting in the med bay. She checks the time on her omni-tool. Hackett’s visit was two hours ago. How did she lose so much time?

“Cass?” Joker leans against the foyer wall between the elevator and the cabin proper.

She stands and feels pins and needles in her feet. Joker guides her to the bed and holds her like _she’s_ the fragile one. Wrapping her arms around him, Cass feels like she’s dreaming. Like none of this is really happening. Her lips form words but nothing comes out. Maybe she _is_ dreaming. Maybe this is all one long nightmare. 

“Talk to me, Cass. Please.”

Cass would give anything to feel, to be present in this moment. She squeezes Joker as tight as she dares. Anything to ground herself, to _be_ herself. To be there for the man she...oh god. “Stay?” she manages, quietly. 

“Sure.” Joker pulls back eyeing her with his eyebrows scrunched. He’s been through so much lately. Because of her. He watched her get spaced. Watched the crew get abducted by the Collectors. Watched her toss a colossal asteroid at a mass relay and-- Setting his hat on the table, Joker runs his fingertips back against his buzz cut. He helps her get her boots off, and then lies with her across the sheets. “You still with me, Cass?” 

“Dunno.” Is she crying again? Cass doesn't need to look up at the skylight to know the Normandy’s still flying. The universe is still moving and she’s frozen in time. 

“So, uh. This is probably the worst timing, but your mom called.”

“Nng.” Cass burrows her head in the crook between Joker’s neck and shoulder.”

“You...wanna talk about it?”

“Nng.”

“I’m not going to make you do anything, Cass. But it wouldn’t hurt, right?”

Cass mumbles into his shirt. 

“What?”

“Hackett’s my dad.”

Joker’s arms flop off of her like she’s made of melted butter. “ _What_?”

“Liara told me.” She sniffles, wiping her runny nose with the back of her hand. Joker belatedly hands her a tissue from the nightstand. “Shadowbroker stuff, y’know?”

Joker’s brows scrunch just a little bit tighter. “Cass?” he says slowly, “what happened on Aratoht?”

Cass flops against the mattress, watching the stars above, waiting for the panic attack that doesn’t come. Maybe she’s too exhausted to panic? “You saw the meteor hit the relay.”

“Well, _yeah._ Kinda hard to miss. But why the hell were you there?”

Her limbs shake with her rage. “ _Daddy_ sent me. After his ‘old friend.’ I have no fucking clue if she actually _was_ his friend, or just some rogue agent, or if she was his fucking _mistress_ for all I know.”

“Damn. What happened to her?” Joker lies on his side, carefully, as always, and combs the damp hair from her eyes with his fingers. 

“She’s-- _was_ indoctrinated. They all were.”

 _“Fuck_.”

Cass swallows hard. “Yeah. Maybe if they weren’t…. maybe I would’ve warned the Batarians in time--”

“Cass.” Joker cups her face. “Look at me.” She does so, reluctantly. “There were 300,000 of them, give or take. How the hell were they gonna evacuate?”

“ _At least I would have tried!!”_

“Cass…”

And then her com rings. Cass growns and stuffs her face into her pillow. 

“Shepard.” EDI says neutrally. “Captain Hannah Shepard is insistent that you answer her call. Her words are “I will dry dock this ship if you don’t answer in 30 seconds.”

Cass drags herself out of bed and over to her desk chair. “Mom,” she snaps when she answers the call.

“Cassandra--”

“You should’ve fucking _told_ me.” Cass hangs up before her mother can answer. 


End file.
